Students who attend classes together are close, and when a student dies, friends and classmates grieve. When the death is unexpected, it can be particularly traumatic.
The grieving process
Feelings and symptoms of grief can take weeks, months and even years to manifest and evolve. People do not heal on a timetable, but the emotions ease over time. The brief time given to attend the funeral only touches the beginning stages of grief. Broadly speaking, the feelings and symptoms of grief may include: shock, denial, anger, guilt, anxiety, sleep disorders, exhaustion, overwhelming sadness and concentration difficulties.
When grieving, it is common to experience many emotions simultaneously, though perhaps in different degrees. The extent, depth, and duration of the grief process will depend on how close people were to the deceased, the circumstances of the death and their own situation. Some grief outcomes may include finding a new balance (which does not necessarily mean that things will be the same) and growth (readiness to move ahead with one’s life).
Take time to grieve
You and your classmates will need time to grieve. Some people find the following activities to be a helpful during the initial grief period:
Create a memorial board
Hold or participate in a fundraiser for a special cause or for the family of the deceased
Create a book of memories to give to the family
Conduct an event or memorial service on campus
Attend the funeral or memorial service
People experience grief differently. You or a classmate who was particularly close to a person who died may feel depressed, absentminded, short-tempered or exhausted. These are all normal feelings. Creating healthy memories is part of healing. Some people find talking about the deceased helps them manage their grief. Others keep to themselves. Respect the fact that others may feel the loss more or less strongly than you or cope differently. Death also generates questions and fears about our own mortality. If a classmate dies, you may feel guilty or angry at the person, life, or medical profession. It may cause you to question your own life. Again, these are normal emotions because there is no "wrong" or "right" way to grieve.
Seek help from a counselor if you have trouble coping with the loss of your classmate or if you find that your schoolwork is suffering. A decrease in your performance could be a signal that this loss is affecting you more profoundly than you thought.
