The transition to an empty nest can be a bittersweet experience for parents. After years of nurturing and guiding your child, the moment they leave home for college, work, military service or to start their own lives can trigger a mix of emotions.
Understanding grief
While grief is typically associated with death, it is a natural reaction to significant life changes, including the departure of children from the family home. Feeling pride and happiness for your child can co-exist with feeling grief and loss. This time might bring up feelings of sadness and loneliness. You might also miss comfortable routines that once centered around your child or children. Recognizing that these feelings are valid will help you adjust to a new way of life.
Coping
Stay connected. Maintain regular communication with your child through calls, texts or video chats. This helps in feeling involved in their lives without being intrusive. Allow them to establish boundaries as they navigate their new world.
Reconnect with your partner. Many parenting couples who find themselves alone for the first time in years find this is the perfect time to r re-establish their relationship. Plan date nights, pursue mutual hobbies or spend quality time together, rediscovering your relationship beyond parenting.
Pursue personal interests. Rediscover hobbies or interests that you may have put on hold. Whether it’s painting, gardening, traveling or learning a new skill, engaging in activities that bring joy can provide a sense of fulfillment and shift your focus away from your sadness.
Build a support network. Sharing experiences and coping strategies with other parents in the same boat can be incredibly comforting. You might start by reaching out to the parents of your child's classmates and friends.
Volunteer. Volunteering for a cause you care about can provide you with a sense of purpose and a connection to the community. It’s a rewarding way to fill the time and space left by your child or children’s absence.
Focus on health and wellbeing. Prioritize your physical and mental health, which you may have ignored for many years. Regular exercise, a balanced diet and mindfulness practices like yoga or meditation can significantly improve your overall wellbeing.
Set new goals. This phase of life is an excellent opportunity to set new personal and professional goals. Whether you work on advancing your career, starting a new project or planning future travel, having goals can provide direction and motivation.
Create new family traditions. Establish new ways to celebrate family togetherness. Plan regular family gatherings, holiday traditions or annual vacations to stay connected and maintain strong family bonds.
Seek help if needed. It is always OK to reach out for assistance if feelings of grief become overwhelming or persist for a long time. Keep in mind that a child moving forward with their life may bring up past feelings of loss.
Embrace the next chapter
Empty nest syndrome is a testament to parents' deep love and dedication to their children. Remember, moving forward not about letting go of them; it’s about embracing the evolution of your family dynamic and finding new ways to thrive.
