Natural or human-caused disasters often result in significant losses and it's common to feel grief in the aftermath. When a disaster occurs, grief at the loss of loved ones may be compounded by sorrow and anger at the loss of home and possessions, as well as fear or anxiety about the loss of a sense of safety and security in the community.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt, one of North America's leading death educators and grief counselors, writes in his book, "Healing Your Grief When Disaster Strikes: 100 Practical Ideas for Coping After a Tornado, Hurricane, Flood, Earthquake, Wildfire, or Other Natural Disaster":
"You might not think of what you're going through as grief because you might associate grief primarily with death, but whenever you experience loss, you grieve. You have lost your sense of safety. You have lost trust in your surroundings and perhaps in your community's emergency response systems. You may have lost community assets you treasured or relied on, such as roads, parks, bridges, shops, restaurants, etc.
What's more, all the losses that result from natural disasters are caused by nature – a faceless, violent and random force. Your grief will be shaped by the brutality and seemingly senselessness of 'acts of God.'"
Coping with grief
Grief is the natural response of sorrow, heartache and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you. Grief can also be a common human response after a disaster or other traumatic event.
Talking to others who understand and respect how you feel, such as family members, faith leaders and others you trust, is a helpful way to cope with your grief. Recognize that although you might still have these feelings over a long period, they will likely be less intense over time. Try to take care of yourself physically by exercising, eating healthy meals, and getting enough sleep. Allow yourself to feel sadness and cry when you need to.
When dealing with the grief of a natural disaster:
Remind yourself you are safe
Find your support network (go to the home of a relative or friend, if needed)
Acknowledge this feeling will pass
Whether your loved ones or home were directly affected or not, natural disasters are classified as traumatic experiences. One way to help yourself cope after a natural disaster is to get involved with your community. When you help with cleanup or other volunteer efforts, it can be a very healing process.
Survivor's guilt
Survivor's guilt is the response to an event that some people experience when they survive a traumatic event or situation that others did not. In the case of natural disasters, it may also apply when your home or property is not damaged, but your neighbor (or many neighbors) has considerable damage or lost their home.
Symptoms of survivor's guilt include:
Guilt
Shock
Confusion
Survivor's guilt can be associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety disorders and complicated grief. People with symptoms may feel tension, distress or solitude that is triggered by a celebration of life, references to the deceased, funerals and expressions of sympathy.
In addition to guilt or remorse, other symptoms may occur during the grieving process. These include:
Flashbacks
Obsessive or intrusive thoughts
Insomnia, nightmares and other sleep problems
Abrupt changes in mood
Trouble concentrating
Anger, irritability, confusion or fear
Loss of motivation
Disinterest in the things you usually enjoy
A sense of disconnection or detachment from others
An increased desire to isolate yourself
Physical symptoms such as body aches, nausea, loss of appetite
Thoughts of suicide
Coping with survivor's guilt
One persistent question of survivors is often, "Why not me?"
Those experiencing survivor's guilt will often say, "If only I had…" when thinking about the situation. It's important to remember that the conditions of a natural disaster are typically out of any human control, no matter how you may have prepared. It's essential to understand that it wasn't your fault.
These are some healthy ways to cope:
Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Don't avoid them. Try to work through and process them.
Exercise mindfulness. Take time to get grounded in the present moment. Focus on positive aspects instead of being consumed with regrets or second guesses.
Don't isolate. Instead of avoiding others, stay connected with loved ones, neighbors and other community members. Having this support will help you through your struggle.
Seek professional help. A professionally trained therapist can help you through your mental health challenges and work with you to process your trauma.
If you or a loved one need assistance, dial 988. The National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources.
