Losing someone close to you may leave you sad, lost, alone or angry. You may miss the person who has died and you want them back. You might also have been so busy with caregiving that it now seems you have nothing to do, which can add to your feelings of loss. This is all part of mourning, a common reaction to losing someone you’ve cared for.
There are many ways to grieve and to learn to accept loss. Try not to ignore your grief. Seek out support from friends, relatives or professionals until you can manage your grief on your own. It is essential to get help with your loss if you feel stressed or very depressed by it.
Family and compassionate friends can be a great support. They are grieving, too, and some people find that sharing memories is one way to help each other. Feel free to share stories about the one who is gone. Sometimes, people hesitate to mention the loss or the dead person’s name because they worry this can be hurtful. But, people may find it helpful to talk directly about their loss. You are all coping with the death of someone you cared for.
Grief counseling
Sometimes, people find grief counseling makes it easier to work through their sorrow. Grief counselors can talk with you one-on-one. Regular talk therapy can help people learn to accept death and, in time, start a new life.
There are also support groups where grieving people help each other. These groups can be specialized–parents who have lost children or people who have lost spouses, for example–or they can be for anyone learning to manage grief. Check with religious groups, a local hospital, hospice groups, or your doctor to find support groups in your area.
An essential part of hospice is providing grief counseling to the family of someone under their care. You can ask hospice workers for bereavement support at this time, even if hospice was not used before the death. Nursing homes and hospitals often have social workers who have helpful resources. The funeral home might also be able to suggest where you can find counseling.
Remember to take good care of yourself. You might know that grief affects how you feel emotionally, but you may not realize that it can also have physical effects. The stress of the death and your grief could even make you sick. Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep and get back to doing things you used to enjoy, like going to the movies, walking or reading. Accept offers of help or companionship from friends and family. Community is good for you and them.
Let major decisions wait, if possible
Try to delay major life decisions until you are feeling better. You don’t want to decide to make a significant change like selling your home or leaving your job when you are grieving and perhaps not thinking clearly.
Source: National Institute on Aging: www.nia.nih.gov
