It is not uncommon for individuals and communities as a whole to experience grief reactions and anger after an incident of community violence. Grief is the typical response of sorrow, emotion and confusion from losing someone or something important to you. Most people will experience a natural occurrence of grief after the death of a loved one, but grief and anger can result from other types of losses. In situations of community violence, people may experience the loss of their sense of safety, their trust in those who live in their neighborhood or their confidence in local government. The trauma and grief of community violence can be experienced by all involved.
Grief reactions to violence
Many people often feel empty or numb after a death or loss. Some people become angry at others or situations or in general without knowing the reason.
Some of the physical reactions to grief and anger may include the following:
Trembling or shakiness
Muscle weakness
Nausea, trouble eating
Trouble sleeping, trouble breathing
Dry mouth
People experiencing grief may have nightmares, withdraw socially and may have no desire to participate in their usual activities, work or school.
How long do grief reactions last?
Grief lasts as long as it takes you to accept and learn to live with the changes that have occurred in your community due to the violence and its aftermath. For some people, grief lasts a few months; for others, it may take more than a year. It's different for each person depending on their health, coping styles, culture, family support and other life experiences. How long people grieve may also depend on the community's resilience and its members' ability to take on roles and responsibilities that will help restore the community's basic needs, such as getting children back to school and businesses back to working again.
Children's reactions to community violence
Witnessing community violence and death can be traumatic experiences that cause adverse mental health outcomes, particularly for children. Close relationships are essential to children's development, and the loss of a family or a community member can represent the loss of social capital. This emotional support enhances their wellbeing. Children may experience:
Depression
Post-traumatic stress
Anxiety
Aggression
Poor academic achievement
Hopelessness
Risky behavior
These losses can even affect their capacity for relationships and diminish future expectations.
Tips for helping children cope with grief
Allow children to talk about their feelings and express their grief (e.g., crying or sad)
Try to follow the same routines as usual
Encourage them to play and laugh
Limit exposure to violence on TV news
Encourage them to get adequate rest and to eat healthy meals
What can communities do to cope with their grief?
Often the community needs to come together to honor those who died and find meaning in their deaths in a way that will help everyone in the community recover. People may create a memorial and decide together that this will remind them and never allow such violence to happen in their community again. It may help them be determined to work out their differences in other ways in the future- for example, by forming a community advisory group or identifying a local leader to be their liaison with law enforcement and other government entities.
What can individuals do to cope with their grief?
Talking to others who understand and respect how you feel — family members, faith leaders, people you trust — is a helpful way to ease your grief. Recognize that although you might still have these feelings over a long period, they will likely be less and less intense over time. Make sure to exercise and eat healthy meals. Do the things that you used to enjoy doing, even if you don't always feel like it. This practice will help you get back into your routines. Allow yourself to feel joy at times and cry when you need to.
Even though they may be experiencing grief, some individuals also exhibit positive changes from their experience of loss, such as the following:
Becoming more understanding and tolerant
Having increased appreciation for relationships and loved ones
Being grateful for what they have and for those in their community who are loving and caring
Experiencing enhanced spiritual connection
Becoming more socially active
If you have experienced the death of a friend or loved one or have been exposed to community violence, feelings of grief and anger are common reactions. But, if these feelings persist, make a point to get professional help.
Source: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
